Tights

See how much fun she's having in tights!?

I lived in tights and dresses when I was a little girl--and it was awesome! When everyone else at school was wearing their matching neon nylon tracksuits my mom had me in fabulously feminine hand-smocked dresses. And tights of course. But then I hit puberty and started wearing jeans and inside-out sweatshirts (it was the thing, okay). Puberty eventually made way for a dress/skirt revival in high school but by then I was awkward and (I’ll just come out and say it) huge. My experience with tights, or rather nylons, at this point was pretty negative. When there was some fancy church thing to go to I would steal a pair from my mom and hers were, frankly, awful. They were those basic Hanes control top nylons that would run at the drop of a hat (if you dropped that hat on them). And between then and about September 2010, I thought I would forever hate all hosiery. But guys, here’s the thing--I discovered that tights can actually rock IF you buy a larger size (screw the size chart on the back of the packages), nix the control top nonsense, and go with microfiber over nylon.  Like these. For the last seven months or so I have worn tights almost every day. They’re so comfy! And opaque colors make my pasty legs look slimmer and longer. And I feel super feminine again—especially now that I’m confident enough to wear mini dresses (the high school dress/skirt revival consisted of ankle length monstrosities). I can thank Lena and her Eurovision “Satellite” video for that. She reminded me of those teenage girls in the mid-nineties that I envied so much. And I’d also like to thank Sienna Miller, because (if memory serves) she was the one who brought opaque tights back in style after playing Edie Sedgwick in “Factory Girl”.