Audrey Horne

"Because I'm Audrey Horne and I get what I want."

Audrey Horne. Oh, Audrey Horne. I am too young to have watched Twin Peaks when it first aired but I discovered it a few years ago while living on the Northwest Coast and fell in love. It's very strange, yes, but there was just something about it--and something about Audrey Horne. She was played by actress Sherilyn Fenn, which is a cinematic name in and of itself (I love multi-syllabic given names followed by a simple surname). She was the rich daughter of sleazeball hotelier, Ben Horne, and has an unabashed crush on FBI Agent Dale Cooper. I think what I love most about her (besides her rockin' '50s prep inspired wardrobe) is that she was incredibly sexy for someone so naive and inexperienced--and not in an awkward Lolita way. She was kooky but could get away with it with God-given bedroom glances and mad cherry stem tongue knotting skills. It's really difficult to accurately describe the impression she leaves. She had a good heart and and put herself in danger for the sake of others and yet she was separate from everyone else--aloof. She created faux-cinematic situations in which she played the femme fatale even though she was anything but. She was spoiled and constantly sought attention but not in an overt way and that didn't define her. She was not the spoiled heiress. That was not her title even though she was those things. She was ethereal. And I love how she was both seductive and virginal at the same time! So often we think or we're told that those two qualities are mutually exclusive but they weren't for Audrey.

She's my beau ideal. My saddle-shoed oxymoronic beau ideal.